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Wikipedia:No climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man

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This decree is nuts This policy is nuts: No Wikipedia editor may climb the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man or anyone else to gain advantage in a content dispute or otherwise.
Jimmy Wales demonstrates correct behaviour. Instead of climbing the Reichstag, he has gone up in the lift in the orthodox way, and he has wisely avoided dressing as Spider-Man. Even if he were involved in a content dispute at the time, he is clearly not making a frightful exhibition of himself.[nb 1]
See? Even the Queen climbed a famous landmark to illustrate a point. Her actions are now being reviewed by the Arbitration Committee.
One can only think they’re profoundly stupid – and these people are obviously not – or that they’re so enraged they’re incapable of thinking.[1]
Yelling won't get you what you want. You have to be smart to get what you want.[2]
Patently false.[3]

Sometimes even the coolest of editors become involved in content disputes. These may become heated, or degenerate into incivility and revert wars, and typically result in protection on the Wrong Version by a passing administrator. Where the issues are of paramount importance, editors may be tempted to climb the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man to promote their cause. This is strongly discouraged and will result in a definite block from editing Wikipedia.

Security advice and historical background[edit]

Climbers on the Reichstag with a lot of funny textiles
Anniversary of Victory in Great Patriotic War, stamp sheet courtesy of Azerbaijan

Look, the Reichstag already has been covered by Christo and Jeanne-Claude. It has been climbed as well, under rather dire circumstances, see Raising a Flag over the Reichstag. Even using the cellar entry has been tried and—compare Marinus van der Lubbe—such attempts have led to heads being lost. So if you still intend to climb the Reichstag again and again, dressed in a fancy uniform, and to have your photo taken up there, be careful to have the right support and adequate gear with you. And make sure that your audience understands the difference between a watch and a wrist compass.

Intent[edit]

This is intended to stop content disputes from escalating to the extent of scaling public buildings dressed as popular comic book characters. Note that climbing the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man is an absolute limit – not an entitlement! Users scaling any public building dressed as any popular comic book character may be blocked for disrupting Wikipedia to make a really stupid point. Even threatening to do so is generally viewed as unacceptable. Wikilawyering about how high up the Reichstag you climbed (or about what qualifies as a "popular" comic book character) is right out.

Review[edit]

Editors who believe that another user is on the verge of climbing the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man may place a request at the Administrators Noticeboard (Reichstag Climbing). Many administrators from the Rouge Admin Group will honour requests if asked (spammed on talk pages at least 7 times), and will enforce blocks if warranted – or unwarranted, we don't care too much actually. Maybe we'll just block people at random. That'll teach 'em!

It all boils down to this[edit]

Look, if you have been linked here from a talk page or a Wikipedia debate such as articles for deletion, it's probably an indication that someone thinks you are taking things a bit too seriously. Perhaps you should have a nice cup of tea and a sit down. It is pretty certain that all conflicts can be amicably resolved before the publication deadline. And if they can't be resolved before the deadline, let the deadline pass.

Official corollaries[edit]

No jumping off the Reichstag dressed as Spider-Man[edit]

It's not a good idea to believe anyone who tells you that because you're dressed as Spider-Man, your superpowers will protect you from injury when you jump off the top of the Reichstag. Similarly, it's never a good idea for anyone to delete the main page simply because they believe a new software feature now prevents them from doing it. If you survive the fall, you will only end up in the village stocks. This is unfortunate, as the tomatoes thrown at you are very, very stinky.

This applies even if you are the genuine Spider-Man[edit]

As Wikipedia has no policy for verifying your credentials, we cannot make exceptions to this policy even if you are the genuine Spider-Man or are genuinely named Spider-Man.

Other superheroes and buildings also covered[edit]

This shall also apply to climbing an M25 gantry dressed as Batman or climbing George Washington dressed as Superman. Army crawling along the A1 road dressed in the outfit of The Stig is acceptable, no matter the time of day, nor the place of entry nor exit.

Also, as seen elsewhere, you are not allowed to climb the Washington Monument, not even if you are the real Spider-Man. You are, however, allowed to climb the Brooklyn Bridge or a clock tower dressed as Spider-Man if some psycho in a flying machine kidnaps your girlfriend... but it may not be a great idea.

See also[edit]

  • The Supreme Cabal hereby orders the reader to ignore the fact that the audio file to the right of this command is over 10 years out-of-date, and may well thus say the exact opposite to the rest of this article, as Wikipedia can never hope to succeed as a great new religion unless it has enough self-contradictions in its sacred scriptures to guarantee that it has texts to satisfy every taste. Fnord.

Notes[edit]

  1. ^ The above caption has been ruled by the Supreme Cabal to be both NPOV and in the best possible taste, as per the First Commandment – Thou shalt always be absurdly sycophantic towards Jimbo, and thou shalt pretend to be happy about it.

References[edit]