Sam Smith 'asks loved ones to refer to him as "they" instead of "he"'... six months after coming out as non-binary

  • According to The Sun, the singer, 27, has made the request to friends and family members
  • Earlier this week Sam thanked Hits Radio presenter James Barr on Twitter for a tweet referring to the star as 'they'
  • In March Sam bravely came out as non-binary, explaining that he fluctuates between identifying with the male and female gender 
  • He also said he had considered having a sex change 
  • The four-time Grammy winner admitted: 'I am not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between - somewhat on the spectrum' 
  • In May, Sam said: 'Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn't feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did'
  • He added: 'Some days I've got my manly side and some days I've got my womanly side, but it's when I'm in the middle of that switch that I get really, really depressed and sad'

Sam Smith has reportedly asked loved ones to refer to him as 'they' rather than 'he', six months after coming out as non-binary.

According to The Sun, the Stay With Me singer, 27, has made the request to friends and family members, with the star thanking Hits Radio presenter James Barr on Twitter this week for a tweet referring to the star as 'they.' 

A source told the website: 'This is a decision Sam has thought long and hard about, including doing a lot of reading on up it.

Acclaimed singer: Sam Smith has reportedly asked loved ones to refer to him as 'they' rather than 'he', six months after coming out as non-binary (pictured on September 9)

Acclaimed singer: Sam Smith has reportedly asked loved ones to refer to him as 'they' rather than 'he', six months after coming out as non-binary (pictured on September 9)

Inspiration: According to The Sun , the Stay With Me singer, 27, has made the request to friends and family members, with the star thanking Hits Radio presenter James Barr on Twitter this week for a tweet referring to the star as 'they'

Inspiration: According to The Sun , the Stay With Me singer, 27, has made the request to friends and family members, with the star thanking Hits Radio presenter James Barr on Twitter this week for a tweet referring to the star as 'they'

'He knows that it will take some people longer than others to fully get it.

'First the request is going out to mates and then it will be passed on to the music industry too. It's an exciting and groundbreaking time for him.'

MailOnline has contacted Sam's representatives for comment.

On Monday, James tweeted: 'just interviewed @samsmith and they sounded so happy and free and more themselves than ever. it’s made me feel like the world is a good place again.'

Support: Sam thanked presenter James Barr for referring to the singer as 'they' in a tweet this week

Support: Sam thanked presenter James Barr for referring to the singer as 'they' in a tweet this week

Sam responded the next day: 'You’re one of the first people to use these pronouns with me. Thank you. That feels really beautiful.'      

In March, Sam bravely came out as non-binary, explaining that he fluctuates between identifying with the male and female gender.

A person who identifies as non-binary doesn't define themselves exclusively as masculine or feminine‍ and prefers they/them pronouns. 

Two months later the How Do You Sleep? singer detailed his experience with his sexuality in an insightful new interview with British GQ magazine to celebrate GQ Heroes, admitting feeling like he doesn't really fit in can make him 'really depressed and sad'.

The Writing's On The Wall hitmaker also detailed his 'violent and scary' experiences in the gay community after first moving to London, revealing he has had therapy in a bid to come to terms with several 'traumatic' encounters.

Iconic: In March Sam bravely came out as nonbinary, explaining that he fluctuates between identifying with the male and female gender (pictured in September 2019)

Iconic: In March Sam bravely came out as nonbinary, explaining that he fluctuates between identifying with the male and female gender (pictured in September 2019)

Discussing his decision to come out as nonbinary, Sam explained: 'Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn't feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did.

'Some days I've got my manly side and some days I've got my womanly side, but it's when I'm in the middle of that switch that I get really, really depressed and sad. Because I don't know who I am or where I am or what I'm doing, and I feel very misunderstood by myself. I realised that's because I don't fit into either.

'I was with my mum last night and she said something so beautiful. 'I'm so relieved that you and me and your whole family have a way to explain this, because it's also been eating me up your whole life.' Because my mum could see it and that it was a torture going on in my mind.

While he's happy to be a role model for young people going through the same thing, Sam admitted he is very 'scared' to speak so publicly about it.  

Oscar-winner: Discussing his decision to come out as nonbinary, Sam explained: 'Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn't feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did

Oscar-winner: Discussing his decision to come out as nonbinary, Sam explained: 'Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn't feel comfortable being a man really. I never really did

 He said: 'But I'm also very scared, because I've lived my life as a minority and now it makes me scared because I'm trying to explain it to people around me and they don't understand.

'It feels like a new conversation, but I'm now learning it isn't a new conversation and it's been around for so long.'

Sam also touched upon his first experiences with the gay community after moving to London to further his career following a quiet and sheltered upbringing.

'My first experiences with the gay community weren't the greatest; it was quite violent and scary at times', he said.

'And growing up in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, it was quite a shock to the system when I moved to London.

Worldwide sensation: Sam is one of the best selling artists in the world, with an Oscar to his name

Worldwide sensation: Sam is one of the best selling artists in the world, with an Oscar to his name 

'I used to love the Vauxhall scene, but everything is getting closed down, which I find really depressing. I know it was dark at times, but it was thrilling and freeing. I miss that for sure. Now I don't go out that much.'  

Probed further about those formative experiences, Sam revealed he has been forced to seek therapy after several 'traumatic' experiences, which he believes have left him 'stunted' towards love.

He detailed: 'It was mainly sexual. I didn't really realise how awful they were until I started therapy and started to uproot some of that stuff. It was a lot.'

' Those first experiences, they weren't very kind. I wasn't hurt, it wasn't anything absolutely awful, but it was traumatic.

'It wasn't a good welcoming into my sexual life and my life as a young man. I think it definitely stunted my belief in love at times.

Fashion icon: Sam was praised by fans earlier this month for wearing heels to his first red carpet event (pictured earlier this year)

Fashion icon: Sam was praised by fans earlier this month for wearing heels to his first red carpet event (pictured earlier this year)

'That's probably the first time I started to feel sadness. I'm making it sound like it was mental. It wasn't orgies. It was just a very different life to the one I knew in the countryside.'

Sam has remained single since his split from 13 Reasons Why actor Brandon Flynn last year after nine months of dating.  

A source told The Sun at the time: 'Sam and Brandon had a real whirlwind romance. They really fell for each other. But they are both so busy with their careers and unfortunately things just haven't worked out.'   

Sam - who deleted a number of snaps of the pair from his social media accounts - was said to be 'devastated' about the split as Brandon was 'the most significant' romance the Too Good At Goodbyes singer has had. 

'I'm still trying to figure out what I took from that relationship and what it meant to me. It's still quite raw', he recently told The Times.

He had previously dated other men, including Jonathan Zeizel for around two months in 2015, and has used his heartbreak as inspiration for his music.

Sam believes gay men reach sexual maturity later in life, revealing he feels 'very inexperienced' in affairs of the heart.

'It's something I battle with all the time', he told GQ. 'I think it's the root of all my problems and sadness. 

'When it comes to work I feel like a 40-year-old man – my responsibilities, where I live, it's nuts. 

'But in terms of my romantic life I feel very young, very inexperienced. It's really hard. I think that's the same for all queer people.'   

Sam first bravely spoke out in Jameela Jamil's new I Weigh Interview series in March, discussing what being 'nonbinary' and 'genderqueer' meant to him.

The four-time Grammy winner admitted: 'You do not identify in a gender. You are just you. You are your own special creation. That is how I take it. I am not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between - somewhat on the spectrum.'  

Giving further context, Sam responded: 'I've always had a bit of a war in my body and my mind… I do think like a woman in my head at times.

'I've sometimes sat there and questioned, do I want a sex change? It's something I still think about, but I don't think it is,' he explained.

Sam also revealed he has always been 'very free' when it comes to thinking about his sexuality.

'I've tried to change that into my thoughts on gender… when I move, when I have sex with men, it's very feminine. I'm feminine in many ways - and I've resented that,' he stated.

Success story: Sam rose to fame in 2014 with his debut album In The Lonely Hour (pictured 2015)

Success story: Sam rose to fame in 2014 with his debut album In The Lonely Hour (pictured 2015)


 

Sam Smith 'asks loved ones to refer to him as "they" instead of 'he"'

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