14 ways Jamie Laing used to worm his way back into Habbs' affections on Made In Chelsea, by JIM SHELLEY
Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo was forced to rebuke Made In Chelsea's resident sex pest Jamie Laing's attempts at getting back with her on Monday night.
‘Part of me thought you guys would be together forever!’ Olivia Bentley claimed, presumably referring to the really moronic part of her.
Melissa Tattam managed to top even this though, with possibly the stupidest piece of advice in the show’s history.
Trying his best: Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo was forced to rebuke Made In Chelsea's resident sex pest Jamie Laing's attempts at getting back with her on Monday night
‘If you do bump into Jamie it’s not like you have to speak to him,’ Mel encouraged Habbs – as if she had never seen Made In Chelsea, let alone been in it.
(Going to speak to the person you had just shafted – figuratively or otherwise – was not only an MiC staple but pretty much the whole point of the show.)
Needless to say, Habbs ignored Melissa’s suggestion – and her pledge about Jamie: ‘I will never let you go back to him!’
‘He’s so good at wangling his way out of everything,’ Habbs had trembled.
He wasn’t of course. In fact his texts and bluffs (and lies) could hardly have been more transparent, dishonest, and a blow for anything even vaguely resembling feminism.
These were the 14 ways Jamie Laing used to talk his way round the fact he cheated on Habbs and worm his way back into her affections:
Charmer: ‘He’s so good at wangling his way out of everything,’ Habbs had trembled
Sneaky: He wasn’t of course. In fact his texts and bluffs (and lies) could hardly have been more transparent, dishonest, and a blow for anything even vaguely resembling feminism
1. ‘I sat outside her house for hours, doing nothing. I bought biltong and water!’
= the tremendous effort & sacrifice Jamie had made trying to speak to Habbs
2. ‘It said: I’m really struggling here. I really hope you come and talk to me cos I’m dying’
= the apology Jamie texted to Habbs, which didn’t actually contain the word ‘sorry’ or any regret or remorse
3. ‘I’ve told you everything’
= Jamie making a great display of his honesty – after he was forced to tell Habbs everything by Rosi
4. ‘I’ve just lost the person that I care more about in this world and it really fricking sucks’
= typically self centered, and of course not really true anyway
Excuses, excuses: ‘I’ve been drowning. I don’t know how to breathe. It’s been awful!’, Jamie told her
5: ‘I’m in absolute bits. You have to remember I let myself be so vulnerable with her’
= more evidence (in Jamie’s mind) that he is the ‘sensitive one’ and the victim here
6. ‘This is so unfair on me’
= Habbs, not about herself but quoting one of Jamie Laing’s texts
7. ‘I feel like I’m in prison not being able to plead my case’
= Jamie not just the victim of circumstance but now persecuted by Habbs
8. ‘Habbs was going back and forward with her feelings. One minute she was hot, one minute she was cold. I was like: what the hell is going on?
= Jamie Laing quickly moving on after saying he regretted sleeping with Rosi - by blaming Habbs, as if he virtually had no choice. Poor guy?
9. ‘This girl (Rosi) was messaging me NON STOP!’
= as Olivia Bentley commented: ‘so you thought, to get rid of her, that you’d do her?’
‘This girl (Rosi) was messaging me NON STOP!’': As Olivia Bentley commented, 'so you thought, to get rid of her, that you’d do her?’
10. ‘But we weren’t together!’
= Laing’s reaction to Olivia Bentley telling him that Habbs was f**king devastated, which of course he ignored
11. ‘I really like you. I make you happy. I treated you so well’
= Jamie piling on the BS to Habbs, even though the evidence showed otherwise
12. ‘You were going back and forwards all the time and it was tough! It was scary!’
= Laing’s reaction to Habbs’ speech that ‘for you to have done this to me is a massive betrayal on your part because we were friends.’ After it’s been pretty awful for me
= certainly a point
13. ‘I’ve been drowning. I don’t know how to breathe. It’s been awful!’
= more of Laing’s self-pity, prompting Habbs to mutter: ‘yeah it’s been pretty awful for me’
14. ‘Sorry I didn’t realize you guys were going to be here’
= Laing’s first meeting with Habbs since she heard about him and Rosi Mae.
Olivia Bentley had set up the chance for him to ‘bump into’ Habbs in the bar but then decided to tell her that he was coming. This meant he had started their reconciliation with a lie.
'‘I feel like I’m in prison not being able to plead my case': Jamie is not just the victim of circumstance but is now persecuted by Habbs