'It was the scariest time of my life': Holly Hagan reveals she was sexually assaulted, fat-shamed and had food thrown at her by strangers after finding fame on Geordie Shore
Holly Hagan has spoken candidly about the dark side of fame after becoming a household name on Geordie Shore.
The reality star was just 18 years old when she made her debut on the MTV party show in 2011, and admitted she wasn't prepared for the fierce backlash she would receive.
Speaking candidly on BBC Radio 1’s The Reality Tea Podcast with Raj and Pilar, Holly, now 27, revealed that among many horrific experiences, she was subjected to assault from fans who would grope her in nightclubs.
Dark side: Holly Hagan has spoken candidly about the dark side of fame after becoming a household name on Geordie Shore
Recalling her experience of doing nightclub appearances, Holly explained: 'Being in the clubs again opened me up to a lot of trolling in person and a lot of kind of sexual harassment.
'I would go to club appearances and people would think because I've been this person on TV that they had the god given right to just turn around and grab my boob or try and put their hand up my skirt.
'It was honestly probably one of the most scariest times of my life.'
Young: The reality star was just 18 years old when she made her debut on the MTV party show in 2011, and admitted she wasn't prepared for the fierce backlash she would receive
The reality star added that she began to fear wearing anything other than jeans and long tops to the appearances as it would 'put her at risk', and recalled having to press herself up against walls so that no one would try and grope her from behind.
As well as physical abuse, Holly was also subjected to cruel taunts that left her suffering from panic attacks.
She admitted that she would go out running her daily errands and members of the public would scream she was a 'fat sl*g', or she would overhear people discussing her.
Geordie Shore series one cast: (Back row) Gaz Beadle, Jay Gardner and James Tindle (front row) Charlotte Crosby, Vicky Pattison, Holly and Sophie Kasaei
As Holly began to retreat into herself and struggle with crippling anxiety, she couldn't even turn to her friends for support, as they too began to get targeted by association.
Holly recalled: 'My friends have had food thrown in their faces on nights out because they're with me... And that's why I just stopped going out, I stopped going anywhere.'
Reflecting on the experiences she and her co-stars had, she added: 'Me and Sophie [Kasaei] for example, were getting a lot of stick because we weren't seen as the pretty ones.
'We weren't seen as the skinny ones and we were having much more of a hard time then say Charlotte [Crosby] or Vicky [Pattison] were because they were size eight and pretty.'
Shocking: As well as suffering from physical abuse, Holly was also subjected to cruel taunts that left her suffering from panic attacks (pictured in 2017)
The consistent abuse also lead Holly on a dangerous path of trying to achieve 'perfection' through multiple cosmetic procedures.
When she joined the show in 2011, Holly had already gone under the knife once for a boob job.
She has since undergone another two boob jobs and a lift, as well as having lip fillers, jaw fillers, nose fillers, botox and a non-surgical bum lift.
Tweaked: The consistent abuse lead Holly on a dangerous path of trying to achieve 'perfection' through cosmetic procedures (pictured with co-stars Vicky and Ricci Guarnaccio in 2012)
Holly admitted she would scrutinise her appearance on TV, looking for things to change about herself, adding: 'You think "oh well, I'll just go and get it fixed Maybe people won't say things about me anymore if I just get this little thing fixed,"
'But it then becomes like a vicious cycle... all these little things then have a knock on effect to the rest of your face. So it's really easy to end up going overboard which at points I have…
'It's kind of like the things I did do, were for other people's gratification.'
Holly first burst onto screens alongside Charlotte Crosby, Gaz Beadle, Greg Lake, James Tindale, Jay Gardner, Sophie Kasaei and Vicky Pattison for series one of Geordie Shore.
The series was the first of its kind in the UK, a spin-off of Jersey Shore.
She remained a series regular until 2016 when she sensationally quit the show in order to 'move on and pursue other projects', but made a brief return in 2018, choosing to leave the series in 2019.
Originals: Holly can now be seen on spin-off Geordie OGs, which tracks the lives of cast members (Aaron Chalmers, Marnie Simpon and Gaz Beadle) who have left the show
Discussing the aftercare that she received on Geordie Shore, Holly admitted that although she was given the option to speak to a psychiatrist, she was scared that she would be axed from the show if she admitted to struggling with anxiety or depression.
She confessed: 'I don't remember there being any kind of support really... I personally would have felt like if I kind of reached out for help, I could have potentially been putting my job at jeopardy.
'Because I didn't know if they thought that I had anxiety and the show was causing me depression or whatever, that they might take that job away from me.
'You don't know that that's not gonna happen because there's not that open conversation about it and you're sat there with a job that you need the money for and you've left your other call centre job and you can't go back.'
Holly can now be seen on spin-off Geordie OGs, which tracks the lives of cast members who have left the show.
The former call centre girl is now engaged to footballer boyfriend Jacob Blyth and the couple plan to wed in Ibiza before starting a family.
Onwards and upwards: The former call centre girl is now engaged to footballer boyfriend Jacob Blyth and the couple plan to wed in Ibiza before starting a family